


What ifs and perhaps

by Ancalima



Series: Safe here [8]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Space family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 07:35:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7675681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ancalima/pseuds/Ancalima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dreams can be the source of many things. Sometimes its a way to remind yourself of all you may have lost, other times they are to remind you what you have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hmm its starting to get very fluffy, I might have to do something about that.

Dreaming, imagining, thinking it, it wouldn't change a thing. 

Kanan knew that.

Told himself it often enough. Dreaming about what ifs, perhaps and might were not good for the souls who lived in the moment.

But at the same time he couldn't help it. Couldn't help but wonder, imagine and dream this particular thought, nurture it in a way he didn't dare with others.

What if they had come to Lothal sooner. What if Ezra had been younger. How would things have been different?

Would he still be the same kid, the same kid hearted child but with less scars and more trust?

Would he have dared to come close to Kanan even? 

Sometimes Kanan could imagine a bright eyed child peering up at him instead of the teenager. But both were just as eager to learn. Yet the child could be no more then seven, fresh from his overturned home.

The burden of a street life yet to touch him.

In his dreams he could see the child, could hold his hand while leading him through crowds whose faces didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was the trusting smile the child with electric blue eyes sent him while clinging to his hand as tight as he could as Kanan lead him to the Ghost.

In his waking moments, he could only hope that the teenager would look at him with as trusting eyes as those of the child in his dreams.

()()()()

Hera would dream of better things. Her life had both ups and downs and sometimes the only refuge you had would be your dreams.

Sometimes about familiar things and sometimes about choices she wished she'd made better.

Other times it could be about the crew she loved and trusted, her family.

She'd dream of coming to Lothal, dream about finding a young child, on the cusps of turning nine perhaps. Eyes so rich in color they looked like sapphires with sun shining through it as he stared up at her, a mix of awe and fear in those eyes as she offered her own hands to him, smiling, assuring.

Dreams of drawing that child into her arms and picking him up, carrying him to the Ghost, knowing that this child was her to protect. Suspicion in those eyes would ease as she feed him, washed him and tucked him up in a blanket.

She'd convince Kanan to keep the child in his room, to help take care of the blue eyed urchin who desperately needed someone to love and care for him.

She'd help him pick up Basic and read and write even more then he already knew. Introduce him to Chopper and make sure the mech knew not to scare or zap the child.

She'd dream how proud she'd be when Ezra started Jedi training with Kanan.

She'd dream of a better life for a child whose parents the Empire had ripped away like so many had experienced.

()()()()()

His dreams had burned on Lasat. 

Or that's what he'd tell himself to get through the cold nights and even colder at times space travels.

They had burned to leave behind shards. To dream was to remember the burning.

But sometimes Zeb could dream without it burning. 

He could dream of a skinny hand trying to steal from his pouch. He could dream of catching a small hand before it could pull back and looking into blue, frightened eyes of a human no more then ten with dirt on his cheeks.

He could dream of kneeling down and asking the child where its parents were. He could dream of the shuffling as the child, whose wrist he was still holding refused to answer, looking on the verge of tears.

He could dream of a stomach growling with need of food. He could dream of his own compassion as he reached out and picked up a frightened child, unable to leave the blue eyed child behind as he moved to a vendor.

He could dream of offering a grilled meat stick to a child whose eyes had turned from fear and distrust to awe as skinny arms lifted to take the stick from him. He could see himself heading to the Ghost, arms wrapped protectively around the skinny frame of a child who had been alone for to long as the child ate the stick ravenously.

The Jedi, the Pilot and the Artist would question but relent, letting the young child come with them, helping the Warrior teach him. 

They'd find a clever mind under the mop of dark hair. They'd find a sharp wit. A willingness to help now that he had been helped in return.

Pride at a child who had proven to be just as kind as he had been alone.

()()()()()

Sabine was a artist, her mind was creative, she thought in colors and patterns. Dreams were a art, they were a source of inspiration.

She happily dreamed. She dreamed of the day, of her art...and of him.

No more then eleven, the signs of distrust growing in electric eyes but not yet shutting his heart fully and building up the walls. Yet his smile was still the same, a head tilt like a curious Loth-puppy, eager for a sign of recognition and friendship as bruises sprawled across his cheek.

She'd offer him her hands, smiling in return while helping the other up, holding tightly onto a hand while carefully pulling him along, talking to him as she lead him through the crowds.

She'd dream of him opening up. Of the feeling of sadness as she pulled him along, no child should be alone. She wasn't about to let him be alone again as he had been so often.

He'd be one of them, she'd make sure of that, she'd teach him how to hold a blaster properly until Kanan taught Ezra of the Force, watching how the shadows of distrust disappeared from shining sapphires.

Dream as they became tighter knitted family then ever.

()()()()

“No, hold still Chopper!” Ezra grunted, the astromech panels opened as he worked on the wires, rolling his eyes as the other waved his arms in the air. “Look, I know, but these are rusted. I need to replace them or they won't function pro-”

He yelped as a large hand ruffled his hair, looking up in surpise as Zeb walked by him towards the galley. “Um...” He shook his head and ran his oily hands quickly through his hair before focusing back on his job.

“Okay now keep still, while I loosen these...and yes that means you won't be able to move around, all motor functions are gonna stop when I pull these ou-”

He grunted as Sabine repeated Zeb's motion from earlier, glaring after her in confusion before focusing back, letting his hair stay ruffled as he worked. “Okay, I got them, I just need to-hey Hera.” He kept his eyes on Chopper as the green Twi'lek knelt beside him before freezing as she pecked him gently on the temple before following the other two to the galley.

“...What is wrong with them today?” He whispered before focusing back on Chopper, carefully getting the wires set in correctly. “Okay...now let me oil these cogs here and you're ready to go Chopper.” Ezra grinned a bit.

He however got a bit delayed as Kanan gave his hair a ruffle on the way to get some kaf and food.

“Okay I give up, what is UP with all of you today!” Ezra glared at them from his position on the floor next to Chopper, the mech warbling in annoyance at Ezra being held up so HE was held up.

“Nothing. We're just glad you're here Ezra.” Hera smiled at him.

Ezra blinked at that, noting that none of the others were contradicting her.

He drew his shoulders up to his ears and hurriedly focused back on oiling those cogs for Chopper but couldn't quite hide the pleased flush crawling up his neck and cheeks or the slight smile on his face.

Blue eyes sparkled with contentness.


	2. What ifs and perhaps (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra has his own dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was suppose to just be a one thing but someone wanted Ezra responding to the dreams and I made up some junk about the Force haha, hey Jedi's themselves say the Force works in mysterious ways, who's to say it can't effect like this!

Perhaps he had eaten a bit to much of the feast of am meal Hera had bought in for them, perhaps it was from not being exhausted enough or perhaps it was the Force. Whatever it was, it caused Ezra to dream deeply, curled up in his bunk.

He could be no more then seven, hiding out behind the trash cans close to his parents home as he had for a few days, watching it, hoping they would show up but deep down knowing he was not going to see them. He should find Tseebo, but last time he had been at the Rodian's house no one had answered and the house was dark.

And he didn't dare run of anywhere because the Imperials were being mean to everyone.

He was hungry though. He should be getting food but what if his parents came while he was away? And Ezra didn't have any money. 

“Little one?” Ezra jerked, staring up at a tall surprised man who slowly knelt in front of him, the mans sweater a nice shade of green. He didn't scare Ezra though, unlike most strangers. His face was stern but his eyes were kind and a light green that seemed to shift to blue at how the light fell on them. “You shouldn't be here alone.” 

A dark skinned hand was offered to him along with a gentle smile. “How about we get you something to eat and a blanket?” Ezra blinked at him before slowly slipping his small hand into the much bigger one, tightening his grip on it as the man stood and started leading him through the dark crowds.

This man made him feel safe and Ezra wanted to feel safe.

In the world of the waking, Ezra rolled over and mumbled quietly as the dream changed.

He was nine, he was running errands for pawnshops and less reputable businesses but it still wasn't enough to make all ends meet, make sure he had food in his belly every night and a warm blanket to cover himself with.

He'd run headlong into a pair of legs, falling on his rear while staring up at the green skinned surprised woman who'd smile at him so gently then slowly bend down to him, offering her hands to him.

“You shouldn't be here alone...you know, I have a ship, it would have space for another crew mate.” She was gentle as she drew her arms around him and picked him up, resting him on her hip like Ezra's mom used to do with him.

She was warm and comfortable, her arms holding him tightly to not lose hold. She was talking about her ship, her mech and her friend and how Ezra was going to fit right in with them, she was sure of that.

And Ezra believed her, as he was feed and cared for in a way he hadn't in for years. They'd show him a life he'd lost and suddenly regained again as he had people who cared again. Somewhere to be loved.

The dream changed again and Ezra was ten.

Hunger gnawed at his bones so hard he thought he was going to faint from the sheer intensity of it as he tried to pick out a target in the crowds just as he had been taught.

But once his target had been picked he had been to slow, a purple furred hand caught his wrist, annoyed but surprised eyes turning into gentle concern as the big Lasat knelt down in front of him, still holding the skinny wrist.

“Kit, where are your parents?” A careful question would be posed by the adult male and Ezra would shuffle, feeling on the verge of tears before yelping a bit as his stomach growled with need. 

He was picked up and carried, blinking in shocked surprise as the Lasat stopped in front of a vendor and got a meat stick. The giant offered it to him and Ezra took it, eating hungerly as the man held protectively around him.

He'd be carried to a ship to meet the Lasat's friends and suddenly he had a home again, somewhere to belong.

A small frown grew on Ezra's face then eased out as his dream once again changed for the last time.

He was eleven and staring up at a colorful Mando girl who had just cut in when the Imperials had been harassing him again, the girl smiling to him while offering her hands to help him up, his own head tilted curiously and suspiciously before accepting the hands and smiling to her in return.

Yet despite the suspicions in his stomach he'd follow the girl who held his hand so tightly to the ship she lived on. Where he got taught to hold a blaster and then taught to be a better person.

To a place where he was accepted.

()()()

“It was just...kind of odd.” Ezra settled on as he started eating the space waffle. 

“Dreams aren't suppose to make sense Ezra.” Sabine rolled her eyes while pouring some juice for herself. 

“I know that but I don't usually dream past and present like that.” The other teenager grumbled and took a big bite out of the fluffy waffle.

“Okay, I'll bite.” Zeb waved his plate at Ezra before taking a huge bite out of his own. “What did you dream?”

Now Ezra got a tooka in speeders headlight look on his face, obviously not expecting to be asked exactly what he dreamed. 

Beside Kanan, Hera lifted her head in interest, a curious smile on her lips as she watched Ezra. “Yes, if you consider it odd then I'm rather curious myself Ezra.” 

“I, errg...that is, I'm sure none of you really wanna hear about my dream. I mean it was just shifting between and it was just kind of weird and like Sabine said, dreams aren't suppose to make sense.” He quickly pointed out.

“No but they reflect the things you think and experience. Dreams can be a way to process the things you while you're awake.” Hera chuckled softly.

“Okay NOW I'm curious too.” Zeb smirked at him.

“The Force can make it a bit different though.” Kanan offered from where he was eyeing his kaf, wondering if he should put in some cream or something.

“Oh?” Everyone looked at him in surprise.

“Well...its still a way to process but...through the Force we can connect to the ones we are closest to. Sometimes their dreams influences ours and sometimes our dreams influences theirs.” Kanan reached for the cream and added a splash to his kaf, sighing happily as it enhanced the flavor instead of making it bland.

“...Creeeeeepy.” Ezra grumbled.

“Ezra! Don't say that! Its sweet.” Hera beamed. “Now come on, tell us about your dream.”

Now Ezra really didn't want to tell them. What if he had influenced their dreams?

“Its...I...okay I was dreaming about you guys.” He squirmed a bit. “Not Chopper, sorry buddy but you appeared in it at least?” He offered the mech who warbled something before rocking on his stabilizers.

Kanan looked at Ezra, frowning a bit as the kid avoided looking at them.

“Just kind of...switching you know. And I was younger.” Kanan almost dropped his mug, eyes widening up. 

“I think I was seven? And Kanan showed up in my dream an-”

“And I took your hand and lead you through the crowds.” 

Ezra looked up in surprise, blue eyes wide and his tanned cheeks dusted with pink. “I...yeah. How did you...” 

“You said the dream changed?” Kanan covered over the quiet, watching him closely.

Now Ezra was really hesitant. “...I...was older...I ran into a pair of legs and fell on my ass.” He glanced at Hera to see her lips pulled into a small O before she smiled softly. “My legs.” She finished for him.

“...You guys all have weird dreams if you dream of me as a kid.” Ezra finally settled on grumpily before hesitantly glancing at Zeb who was doing his best impression of staring at the ceiling. “...I am not buying you a meat skewer.” The Lasat finally said, gruff and embarrassed.

It was the only confirmation Ezra needed before glancing at Sabine and smiling just a tiny bit at the embarrassed looking Mandalorien.

“...You're all still WEIRD for dreaming about me as a kid.” He repeated then focused back on his food.

“Or you're weird for dreaming it.” Sabine shot back.

Kanan just smiled slightly.

The Force did work in mysterious ways.


End file.
